textpostsandcats:

being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you

(via bastille)

slaycinder:

jpgay:

i hate when a more attractive person has a crush on the same person i do

It’s like performing in a talent show and finding out that Beyonce is going on before you

(via bastille)

mcporno:

hello i’d like to hire an assassin? yes the target is me please murder me

(via bastille)

legs-are-just-for-show:

replaying the same level in a video game for the hundredth time

image

(via take-me-to-your-grave)